I needed to strike the rule and reverse it! And I did.
Tom and I decided, instead, to greatly restrict the play time. I thought we had been doing well with it, but it was obvious we had not. We did not decide to take the game time completely away during the school week but did leave that option on the table should it become necessary.
I also was very fearful that I had planted a seed in their heads that reading was not enjoyable. I wanted to dig that seed out immediately. So, on Monday evening, I decided to have some mother-son-bonding time with Troy. I decided I'd read to him. I told him to go to his room and bring a book back. He said okay and walked out....and never returned. Fifteen minutes later, I realized I was still waiting. I called his name, and when he entered the room, empty-handed, I asked him what he was doing. He told me watching TV because "books are lame." I almost fell off my bed! He got a lecture from me! I told him that I would not have filled our house with books if I did not feel that they were important. Mostly, though, I told him disobedience was not okay. Further, I told him that I had wanted to read to him.
I was heartbroken. I feared that I had done irreparable damage.
The next morning, the first words out of his mouth after I gave a cheerful "Good morning!" to him were, "I'm sorry about last night, Mom." I told him that it was okay and gave him a hug.
After dinner that night, I asked him if I could read to him, and he gave an overly enthusiastic, "Yes!" and ran to get a book. I knew he was doing it to make me feel good after the previous night's events. He's a very sweet child. Laura joined us, and we read from a book I had given him for Christmas, Different Like Me: My Book of Autism Heroes.
On Wednesday night, we did it again. We read about a few more people in the book, and then, we looked them up online. For example, one was a painter, so we looked at some of his paintings. We watched some videos on YouTube. I felt like I needed to tread very lightly because the Troy/Books/Reading relationship was obviously very fragile. I didn't want to force anything.
A friend at work brought a box-full of books to work on Thursday. I took a large chunk of them and brought them home. Laura is currently extremely obsessed with dentistry. One of the books was about teeth and dentists. She was so excited! Koby loves Sponge Bob; about ten of the books were Sponge Bob books! He couldn't decide which one to read first and was angry when Laura dared to touch one! Troy was elated when he found a Sponge Bob book designed for older readers. To see them excited about books again made my heart flutter!
Near bedtime, I decided to ask them to join me for a family read-aloud. However, when I walked into Laura's room, this is the sight that greeted me:
The work is not done. We spoke to the psychiatrist about the situation at their appointment the other day, and she told us that video games can easily become problematic for all kids, but even more so for kids like Troy.
Still, I believe that the love of reading and books has not left my son. The picture above proves that there is still a spark remaining.
Thank you to those who gave me advice after last week's post. The saying goes that you should always follow your gut. My gut told me I was making a bad parenting choice, but the advice and support I received from so many here on this site and also on Facebook and in personal conversations helped me follow my instincts that I did, indeed, need to strike that and reverse it!
Happy Reading, Everyone!